Last night while I should have been soundly asleep, instead I was deciding, “I’ve got to deal with this pain.” The acute cutting pain I’ve allowed to hang around for the last two years. Yes, you read it correctly, TWO YEARS. I wonder how many wrinkles I’ve added to my face by carrying this pain with me unnecessarily? Pain has the remarkable ability to wear us out, down, and into the ground if we don’t deal with it. Pain is a problem. And like all other problems, the only way to solve it is to work through it until we reach its source, and change something.
Pain is a boisterous indicator that something needs to change. For the last two years I have been holding a screaming pain in my right shoulder. My mobility has drastically diminished. With every lift of my arm I wince, hence the new wrinkles. Because I’ve dealt with chronic pain for most of my adult life – I let it move in, when I assumed it was just visiting like the pain I’d experienced in the past.
I wonder how often we assume our problems are visitors when they have every intention of moving in, taking ground, and lording over us? It’s a good thing I had no idea how long “this” problem would hang around, that in itself has been a necessary grace. I’m not oblivious to the fact that it seems I human in a different order than the vast majority of my peers.
I have a tendency to process life in a different order than most of my peers.First I emotion, second I analyze, third I deal with the matter, literally the physical matter. I spend so much time on the interior of things that I sometimes never quite get the surface to look the way it should. Humans love what’s on the surface, that’s what they see. The reality is, the problem is both on the surface and in the deep. Working through a problem all the way is exhausting. No matter which end you start with. It’s taken so long to work through this problem and now I’m exhausted. This is what I’ve learned. No one is courageous when they’re exhausted.
Last night however, I decided it’s time to deal with my physical pain. Since I have scoliosis I have a good idea where and how to get some relief. Even though the pain is in my shoulder area, I’m likely feeling the end of a pinched nerve. The source of the pain – like most pain – it is buried deep within my body, near my spine. The stress of my trial had tightened all my muscles. Their constriction pulling my spine out of alignment allowing it to rest on a nerve.
When life hits you hard you can get knocked clear out of alignment. When that happens you may just find an exposed nerve somewhere down deep at the source of your pain. I’ve felt – and healed – I’ve analyzed – and accepted… now it’s time to realign and push the pain out of my life.
If you’re in pain…emotional, physical, or even mental – don’t let it move in and take over, courageously discover what it’s screaming at you and take steps to live healed, however that looks to you. Take a courageous baby step.
I know it’s hard, but you can do it,